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Need help?
If you need help to leave your home because of domestic violence, or need support through a difficult time, read on: -
First of all , don't be afraid to ask for help. You do not deserve to be abused, and you are not alone. Thousands of women and children experience this kind of violence and abuse every day, and it is possible to get help and find a way out of your situation.
There are women's organizations , safe houses and refuges who will give you advice, support and somewhere to stay if that is what you need. These are free services, and are totally confidential. In other words, nothing you tell them will get back to the person who is abusing you.
Many of these services are run by women who have themselves been through domestic violence, so they do understand the kinds of things you are going through.
As a first step , why not give one of them a ring? You will not be committing yourself to do anything you are not ready for - just a friendly voice can make all the difference. womensaid.org.uk
Finding a Safe Place
If you feel you cannot stay at home any more because of violence or abuse, there are places of safety you can go.
Most towns and cities now have women’s refuges that can provide safe temporary housing for women, with and without children, who are escaping from domestic violence. The women who work there will offer you support and advice on your options for the future.
Some women chose just to go into a refuge for a night or two for a break; others might stay for a few months and get re-housed. It's up to you.
If the refuge is full, there are other alternatives, such as local authority homeless accommodation. Some refuge groups have Outreach workers who can support you while living there.
You can look up your local refuge or domestic violence help line number in your phone book - these might be under ' Women's Aid ' - or you can call;
The National Domestic Violence Help line: 0808 2000 247 (24 hour):
Also see our Links to other Domestic Violence websites.
Advice for Women Pet Owners
What will happen to my pets if I go into a refuge?
If you are going in to a refuge in the North West of England and need your pet fostering.
Contact Paws for Kids :
01204 394842 Option 1 (Mon-Fri 10am-5pm)
or contact your nearest helpline listed below
Women's Domestic Violence Help lines.
(North West of England only)
Burnley - 01282 422024 (24hours)
Liverpool - 0151 727 1355 (24 hours)
Manchester - 0161 839 7535
(Mon-Fri 10.00 am – 4.00 pm)
Preston - 01772 201601 (24 hours)
West Lancashire - 0808 100 3062 (24 hours)
Wirral womens Aid - 0151 6439766 (24 hour)
South Ribble - 01772 435865 (24 hours)
If you are going into a refuge outside of the North West, depending on the area you are in you may be able to get help with pet fostering from one of the following
Dogs Trust Freedom Project (Yorkshire)
0800 083 4322
Dogs Trust Freedom Project. (London) 080029809199
Pet Retreat RSPCA (Leicestershire & Rutland) 07910721797
Woodgreen Animal Shelter (Cambridgeshire) 01480 832823
Pet Retreat RSPCA (South West England)
0300 123 8278 /077150540182
Pads & Paws (East Northamptonshire)
01832 742257
If my partner harms me, will he harm my children and my pets?
It is quite likely that your partner may threaten to harm your children or your pets as a way of keeping his control over you and making you do what he says. Some violent men will actually try to carry out their threats, so you need to think carefully about your next step and take good advice from people who know. You may decide that you are all in too much danger and need to get out of the situation. If you can, have an emergency plan for yourself, your children and your pets.
If I go into a refuge, who will look after my pets?
If possible find a friend or family member to look after your pet. If you can't do this, when you have decided to leave, phone the help line or refuge as soon as you can to let them know you are going to need a placement for your animals. They will then phone Paws for Kids who will look for a temporary foster home for your pet. If no pet foster carer is available it may be possible for Paws for Kids to place your pets in boarding kennels until a pet foster carer is free.
What if I have to leave quickly and leave my pet behind?
Be sure to ask for a police escort to go with you when you return home for your pet and other possessions. The refuge workers can advise you on this.
Who will pick my pets up?
Once a placement has been found for your animals, Paws for Kids will contact you through the refuge. You will need to get your pets to the refuge or another safe place and we will collect them. This will be done as quickly as possible.
Could my partner trace me through my pet?
No. Paws for Kids pet fostering service has been specially designed so that you cannot be traced through your pets. Only trained women volunteers and workers who understand how important confidentiality is, will know where you and your animals are. The people who foster your pets will not know your name, where you are from or where you are. Dogs will not be fostered in the area you are from. You will not be able to visit your pet to maintain this safety - but Paws for Kids will make sure your pet is well looked after and let you know how they are.
Does my pet need to be up to date with vaccinations?
It is a good idea for your cat or dog to have regular vaccinations. However, we know that for many people this is not possible. We will assume that your pet has not been vaccinated unless you can bring its vaccination certificate with it. If it is up to date with its vaccinations, it will make it easier for Paws for Kids to find it a placement. If your pet needs to be placed in temporary boarding kennels Paws for Kids will arrange for your pets to be vaccinated at a reduced cost.
What should I take when I move my pet to safety?
If you are able to plan for your pet's departure, try to have the following pet items in a safe place and out of your partner's reach:
- Dog collars and leads
- Cat carriers
- Medication, if any
- Vaccination certificate
- An information sheet on what and how you feed your pet, medical conditions, likes and dislikes, and any possible behaviour problems;
- Bowls, bedding, toys, grooming brushes, favourite blanket etc.
NOTE: If you haven't got a cat carrier, unconfined cats get very scared and escape. Use a pillowcase in an emergency. Paws for Kids will have a cat carrier to use when we pick your cat up from the refuge.
Would my pets be better off if I put them up for adoption?
Only you can make this decision. Paws for Kids can help you by fostering your pet while you are in the refuge. But some women will inevitably decide that it is better for both of you, if you find your pet a new home. Giving up a beloved pet is sad; but realizing that your pet is safe and happy in a new home can make your decision to leave a violent situation easier. Your local animal rescue centre might be able to help find a permanent home for your pet. Try to give them as much information about its background, behaviour, likes and dislikes as you can. If you do decide this is for the best, you may want to take some photographs of your pet for you and your children to keep.
Advice for Children
If you’re living with violence at home, one of the worst things can be feeling like you’re all alone and that there’s no-one who you can trust to help.
You may want to talk to someone but don’t know where to turn for help.
You may have already tried to talk to someone and have felt let down by their response. Sometimes people don’t want to believe that bad things are happening.
Your mum might be too busy with her own feelings, or sorting out your brothers and sisters, to notice how things are affecting you.
It’s important you don’t try to deal with this all on your own. There are people who will listen.
First of all, think if there’s an adult you can trust to talk to. This might be a teacher, a friend’s parents, or your auntie or uncle.
If you cannot think of anyone, you could phone Childline: -
Tel: 0800 1111
This is a help line set up especially for children who are having problems. You don’t have to give them your name and the phone call is free. You can have a look at their website now by going to: www.childline.org.uk.
There is also a web site that provides support for children & young people who are living with Domestic Violence you can visit their web site on
…or you can get help from the NSPCC Child Protection Helpline: -
Tel: 0808 800 5000 or browse their website at www.nspcc.org.uk
Remember – you are not alone